Sleep With a Ghost
by sarahbellxx
Summary: All human. "I swore I could feel you breathe, it was all so real to me." A Romance between a not so living Bella and a not so dead Edward. Review Please!
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: **

Alright this is a little one shot that I've been thinking of the past few days…it's kind of like a song fic. I like how it came out…I've never been able to write a chapter of something this quickly and easily…

The song it's based on is _Don't Wake Me Up—_by The Hush Sound

I hope you like it…review please!

**Sleep with a Ghost **

I maneuvered my way through the crowd of sweaty people to meet Alice where she was sitting at the bar with Jasper.

I tapped her shoulder and she turned to look at me happily, but her smile turned into a frown as she saw my exhausted expression.

"I think I'm going to go," I told her. "It's getting late, and I have work tomorrow."

"Oh Bella, come on please stay. Your twenty-five, you're supposed to be out having fun." She looked at me with wide eyes and a pout forming on her red lips. "Plus, you don't have work till twelve so ha!"

I laughed at her logic. "Alice, I've already had about five shots and I know if I stay any longer I'm going to have a killer hang over tomorrow. I have to make a good impression at work tomorrow if I want that promotion."

She gave me an over dramatic sigh, "I can't believe you have work tomorrow…who work's on Saturday?!" She threw her hands up in the air to prove her point, almost smacking Jasper in the process.

I chuckled. "Hmm," I tapped my finger to my chin "Oh, I don't know, everyone except…you!"

She laughed and gave an innocent shrug of her shoulders. "Well, I guess we can't all be as lucky as moi."

I rolled my eyes and muttered under my breath, "Sometime's I wonder why I'm friends with her."

She smacked my shoulder, hard, "Hey! I heard that, you know your life wouldn't he half as exciting as it is if you weren't friends with me."

"You have me there, you are the master of schemes and all things crazy." I smirked at her.

"Seriously though, I'm going. I want to be conscious when Mike tries to put his hand up my skirt so I can slap him this time."

She threw her head back and laughed, "Good point. Go sleep. I'll call you tomorrow."

I leaned in and hugged her. "Sounds good."

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." Then I gave her a reassuring smile and hugged Jasper.

"See you later Bella."

_You came to me _

_In seemless sleep and slipped right in_

_Behind my eyes on the back of my mind_

_We swam a sea of pretty sights and chandelier skies_

I stripped out of my clothes and threw on an old baggy t-shirt. I crawled across my mattress and burrowed myself under the comforter.

The moment my head hit the pillow I let out a groan of pleasure. I knew there was a reason I spent about three thousand dollars on this mattress.

I felt like I was sleeping on clouds. "Heavenly," was the last word I slipped out before my eyes fluttered closed, and sleep took over me.

My night was dreamless as the time on the clock continued to change—moving slowly towards the inevitable sunrise.

I felt something smooth graze across the skin on my arm and a shivered. The silky object started to travel up and down my arm at a steady speed—leaving a fire in its place.

The object finally made itself known to be a hand as the arm it was attached to wrapped around my body and its large hand encased my two small ones.

I sighed in pleasure. I knew that hand, it was his hand—I had missed it so much.

I pushed myself backwards on the mattress to where I was sure I would come in contact with his strong body.

I wasn't disappointed, and he tucked me more securely into his body. My safe place.

He placed his head on top of mine and started to hum that familiar tune that was forever implanted into my mind.

The music consumed as I just lay there enjoying his presence. Not caring about time—it could have been days and I wouldn't have noticed.

_I swore I could feel you breathe_

_It was all so real to me_

I didn't want to break the perfect silence but I needed to say something. I needed to speak to him.

"I missed you," I sighed—my voice barley above a whisper.

"I missed you too, my love," I smiled to myself; tears threatening to pour out of my eyes.

"Where have you been?" I needed to know this.

"Taking care of business," he chuckled and I frowned. He always knew how to ruin a moment with his sense of humor.

I think he could sense my dislike of his comment as he whispered in my ear, "Does it matter? I'm here now."

"No, I guess it doesn't…but I'd still like to know." I said slyly.

I felt his body shake with laughter. "Maybe I'll tell you another time."

"Another time? Will you be here again?" I desperately hoped for this, I couldn't believe how long it had been.

His hand rubbed up and down my arm. "I'm always with you, love. But yes, I will come again, I'll try to visit more often."

I smiled a little. "Thank you."

"Your wish…my command." He kissed the top of my head.

_Don't wake me up_

_I am still dreaming the story's undone_

_Unravel at the seams_

"I wish we could stay like this forever," I snuggled further into his body.

He sighed. "Me too. I don't think can even comprehend how much I've missed having you in my arms. It's the only place I feel safe having you be."

I smiled. Why did he always know what to say? "Well, that's good, because it's the only place I feel safe."

"I'm glad we agree on something."

My face scrunched up and I got aggravated. "You act as if that's the only thing we've ever agreed on!" I practically shouted.

He laughed at this. "Shh, dear. It was only a joke. I know we agree on more than just that."

"Prove it," I breathed out because he began tracing his nose along my jaw; making it harder for me to concentrate.

"Hmm, well, for one, we agree that you are the most beautiful woman in the world," I could feel him smiling against cheek.

"False." I said in a monotone voice. "We don't both agree on that. And I still don't believe you when you say that."

"I wish you did," he sighed sadly. "Well, I think we both agree that I love you."

"Yes, that is true, and we both agree that I love you too."

"Hey! We agree on three things. That has to be a record for us."

I tugged my hand out of his grasp and slapped him. "Shut up," I said while trying to contain my laughter.

"You know I'm funny," he teased as his fingers began moving across my stomach; tickling me.

I began wiggling, trying to escape. "NO! I will never admit it!" I managed to stutter out between gasps of breath and laughing.

"Your laughing right now…you know I'm right, I'm extremely funny." He didn't stop his attack and I finally had to agree with him.

"Good," he said and I could hear in his voice how much he loved his small victory.

"Now that's four things we agree on."

_Don't wake me up_

_Death is misleading and when I fall asleep_

_Sleep with a ghost_

I finally turned around too look at him. I had put it off till now knowing that if I turned around and he wasn't there, I might die.

I gasped. He looked just the same; disheveled bronze hair, pale skin, perfect bone structure…and that heart stopping crooked smile.

I lifted my hand up and traced his features with my fingertips. "I can't believe it."

He smiled serenely at me and brought his hand up and molded it around my cheek. "So, beautiful," and he wiped away my tears.

"How are you here right now…how…I…" He took my face in both of my hands and stared deeply into my eyes.

"I don't know. I wish I did, because if I did I would be with you every night, every day." His face moved towards mine and his eyes held such love and determination that I was completely overwhelmed.

_Oh you were a fire caught in a storm_

_Memories like embers keep us warm_

_You will leave me in the morning_

_Leave Me_

His lips touched mine and it was like he'd never left me, left us, left everyone. My fingers moved up to grip his hair and pull mine tighter to me, his arms wrapped around me keeping me in a steel vice against his chest.

I gasped and his tongue entered my mouth. Our lips moved in perfect synchronization. His lips moved to my neck and down to my shoulder and across my chest.

Everywhere they touched was left scorching—everything was hot and I couldn't think. I couldn't live without this. I can't have him leave.

I hitched my leg around his hip and tightened my grip around his neck, burying my face in his chest. Breathing in his scent—the most prominent smell in my life.

He stroked my hair and just held me. Like he always used to when I was upset or angry.

"I don't want you to go. I want you to stay here with me, where you should be anyway." I cried.

"I know, love, I know. I want to stay so badly, but you know…you know I can't."

"Why? Why did you leave? Why did you have to die? I hate you, I hate you!" I screamed as I punched him reputedly.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He said, his voice thick with emotion and regret, as he held me.

_The light had slipped through the window_

_The morning ripped you away _

He held me some more and we just talked, about anything and everything. My job, our friends and family. Was I happy? Was I comfortable in my life? Any relationships?

No, was my answer to that question. Not yet, too soon.

"What time is it?" I questioned him when I felt something, a strange twinge—a pulling feeling.

"Its morning," he whispered unwillingly in my ear.

I shook my head quickly—"No, not yet." I refused to believe it. But the pulling was getting stronger and I knew it was true, he was going…or I was going, I didn't really know who wasn't suppose to be here.

"I love you," he said as he kissed me gently one more time.

"I love you too."

"Good luck at work today…don't let Mike feel you up." He said with that crooked smile I couldn't resist.

I laughed despite my mood. He always knew what to say. "I'll try."

"Good."

Then a bright light blinded me and I shot up in bed gasping. I turned my head to look at the space beside me.

_The room calm and cold_

_The quiet hollow_

_I am such a haunted soul_

_Your ghost is gone the bed is so cold_

I sighed and ran my hands down my face—a few tears breaking the barrier I tried to create.

I looked at the alarm clock, "Crap," 11:30…work in a half hour.

I jumped out of bed and swayed…damn Alice, damn those five shots, damn you morning for waking me up.


	2. I Miss You So

**Authors Note:**

Okay, Finally Chapter 2! Hahaha. Real life is a bitch, isn't it? Review Please!

Songs: Crazy—Gnarls Barkley, Coming Home—The 88, Where'd You Go?—Fort Minor, Kiss Me Thru the Phone—Soulja Boy

**Edward POV**

As soon as the light shot through the room I was back. Back wherever back was. All I know is that it is away from _her_. Away from the reason I can't seem to move on.

But the truth is why would I want to move on? I knew if I did I might never see her again. I couldn't live without her.

Well, if were being technical…I can't be dead without her either.

I looked down at my hands, flexing and un-flexing them. They seemed tangible. I could put my hand on my chest without it going through my body.

Last night I could touch her and hold her like I had when I was alive. I could fell the heat beneath her skin. She was soft and delicate, just like I remember her.

That night was the first time she ever acknowledged me back when I was near her. It was like some barrier was broken. She knew I was there—she felt _me,_ and we talked just like we had always.

I closed my eyes and pressed my hands against my face. Contemplating again why this had to happen. What did we do that our happiness had to be taken away.

I ran my hands down my face and opened my eyes slowly. I was greeted by the sunlight and was sitting on the leather chair that has been in Bella's and my apartment since we moved in.

This is where I always ended up. Right here in this chair in the family room. I don't know why it was this chair. Why couldn't it be the bed, or the couch?

But everyday, this was where I started. I left wherever I was before and was placed here.

"Why?" I whispered in a strangled voice. I would never understand.

There was no reason for me to be whispering, I could yell and scream at the top of my lungs and no one would hear. I know this because I'd tried.

When I first found out I was dead I spent hours at a time screaming and cursing. Then when I ended up in this room, on this chair, and I saw Bella walking through the apartment with tears streaming down her face, I cried.

I cried because I knew I was doing this to her—I was putting her through this pain, and I never wanted to see her cry.

Then when I found out that she couldn't feel me when I was near her—I threw stuff. I picked up lamps and tossed them, at one point I even knocked the television over. However, once I threw it the object was back where it was suppose to be.

It drove me crazy. I've been living in this limbo for the last two years, stuck in the same rut I had been in since I died. But last night something happened—something was changing.

I could feel it, the atmosphere was different—I felt hope but at the same time I felt despair.

I was getting closer to her, but at what cost? I was dead, she was still living, and I would do everything in my power to keep it that way.

I turned my head and looked at the clock that sat besides me. It blinked _2 o'clock._ Bella has been at work for 2 hours already.

I left the apartment and walked towards her office. I did this everyday, I always liked to know where she was and know that she was safe.

The only way I could know this is if I followed her myself. That was the first promise I made to myself in this new life. Although I couldn't protect her physically, which killed me, I would watch over her.

When I told her last night that I was always with her it was the truth.

As I walked through the bustling streets of New York city many bodies passed through me as if I was nothing but air. Completely ignorant to the fact that they had just walked through a ghost.

I chuckled to myself. I always thought it was weird thinking of myself as a ghost—especially since I always believed that ghosts weren't real.

But here I was—dead, and walking the streets o New York to my Bella.

I was almost to the front door of Bella's building when I bumped into someone. A man, in his thirties I'm assuming, with a determined look in his eyes.

"Excuse me," he said after our little collision.

I froze, I was too stunned to say anything. How could he have touched me? I was dead, how did we bump into each other?

I blinked and shook my head, and tried to call after him. "Wait, how…what…how did you feel me?"

But he was walking too fast. As he crossed the street he called over his shoulder to me. "I'm sorry, I can't talk now, I have somewhere I need to be."

What the hell just happened? "I'm going crazy." I mumbled to myself.

I opened the door to her building and practically sprinted through the halls. I carefully maneuvered my way around the people walking around, trying my best not to touch them; still freaked about my previous encounter.

I reached the door of her office and just stood there with my hand on the knob. I could hear her frustrated voice through the door and knew that only one person at work could make her use that tone; Mike was paying her a little visit.

I threw open the door and it crashed against the wall leaving a knob sized hole in it, but of course no one noticed, and when I looked back at the door it was as if nothing had happened.

Bella and Mike were staring at each other—well, Mike was gazing at her longingly and Bella looked like she was about to punch him, her hands balled into fists at her sides.

I loved Bella when she would get like this—her eyes scrunched up and her face that beautiful shade of red. It was times like these that I knew she could protect herself from the advances of other men.

However, I still liked to be there so they would keep their eyes off of her. She's mine. Well, she was mine…no she still is mine; just not in that sense. She will always be the only woman I love—but she will move on and marry someone else, live a happy life and have beautiful children.

Thinking of this is what hurts the most—we will never have that. Even though we came so close.

Their bantering brought me out of my inner turmoil—thankfully.

Bella's voice cut through the air…

**Bella's POV**

"Get your hands off me…" I said through gritted teeth as Mike kept his strong hold on my arm.

"Bella, won't you hear me out, this is for your career."

I rolled my eyes at that statement. I had heard it too many times since I came to work here. 'Just one dinner, it's for your career.'

Yeah, sure, Mike. The last time I fell for that it was just you and me having a romantic dinner overlooking the city.

When would he get the idea that I _did not_ like him.

"Mike, I am sorry…but you know how I feel about you." I was trying my best to remain calm, because no matter how many times I wish he wasn't, Mike was my boss, and I couldn't afford to loose this job.

"But why Bella?" His grip tightened on my arm. "You don't know if we won't work unless we try!"

"No, Mike! Now please let go of me!" I ripped my arm back violently, making him loose his balance in the process.

"Listen to me Michael…you are my boss and I will remain cordial to you…but I will not, I repeat, will _not_ tolerate this anymore. Or I will be forced to call _your_ boss and accuse you of sexual harassment."

His face paled as those words came out of my mouth—he knew he wouldn't win that battle. "Bella…please…I…" he couldn't seem to get the words out of his mouth.

"Please leave Mike, I have work to do…work you assigned and I would like to get it done so I can leave at a descent time."

He had gained back most of his dignity by this time—at least the little bit of dignity that he had to begin with. He straightened his tie and cleared his throat, "Yes, of course…you've been doing a great job…keep it up."

He turned his back and I heard him sigh as he walked out through my door.

I pinched the bridge of my nose—he was going to kill me, I get a migraine every time I talk to him.

I popped open a bottle of aspirin and poured some into my hand. Hmm, I wondered to myself, should I take two or three…

Three definitely three, I could tell this was going to be a tough day, I would need all the help I could get.

"Mmm, extra strength…just what I need…you guys are so great." I must be going crazy, I was talking to aspirin tablets.

I heard a faint noise ghost through the room after I said those words and I bolted upright.

It was so soft that I couldn't be sure what it was—but I was positive it sounded like someone laughing. But no one could hear me in my office—could they? And I had practically whispered it.

My breathing picked up as my head whipped around, searching the room for any unwanted intruders.

I could only look around expecting to see someone so many times—I mean my office was quite small, its not like anyone could be hiding in here.

I slumped back down into my chair and put my hand over my face, and shook my head.

I knew no one was in my room—of course there wasn't anyone. But…but it all went back to that dream I had last night. Edward.

I sighed; my eyes burning with unshed tears.

There was a small part of me that wished it was him—well an extremely large part of me wished it was him, but that small part of me hoped that even though I knew he was gone that he was in here with me.

Last night had seemed so real, and he said that he was always with me. I wondered if he was here with me right now.

Was he watching me? Secretly keeping an eye on me—that would be such an Edward thing to do, I giggled at the possibility of him trying to protect me from people like Mike even in death.

I decided that I needed to stop thinking of that dream. It was too painful.

So I began to spin around in circles in my chair—childish yes, but it always made me feel better.

The sensation of speeding up as you went round and everything around you being a blur, I just loved it. I loved that I couldn't control what would happen if I just let go and spun.

I was laughing to myself about five minutes into it—when I finally finished spinning I felt a small smile grow on my lips.

Edward used to spin me in this chair, he had me laughing until my sides killed, and he used to spin me so fast that I was afraid I would fly off of it—but I always knew he would catch me no matter what happened.

I was brought out of my trip down memory lane by a beeping on my office phone—signaling a call.

I pressed down on the button and answered the phone, "Hello."

"Hello Ms. Swan," my assistants voice rang through the receiver. "I have a call waiting for you on line one, it's Alice."

I let a soft chuckle escape through my lips when I found out who was calling, I should have know…Alice makes it a point to call me at work everyday, claiming that I 'need a break from working every few hours'.

"Alright, put her through."

"Yes, Ms."

"Baby u kno that I miss u, I wanna get wit chu, Tonight but I can't, Baby girl and that's the issue,Girl u kno I miss u, I just wanna kiss u, But I can't rite now so baby

Kiss me through the phone…"

I burst out laughing at the song she was singing…she would be singing a Soulja Boy song.

I cut her off before she could start the next verse. "Please Alice, spare me, I quite like being able to hear."

"Haha, Bella, you're so funny."

I smiled at her sarcastic remark. "You're right, I am really funny."

"Shut up, I happen to know that you secretly love this song."

"Oh, and how would you know that?'

"Hmm, well I might be at your apartment right now…on your iTunes…"

"Oh my god Alice! Please tell me you aren't…" I groaned, knowing that she had proof.

"Well Bella, you did give me that spare key, and I thought I would be a nice friend and cook you dinner and maybe watch a movie when you got home from work, and your computer was just open so I…"

"You're abusing your key…it is a sacred key and shouldn't be taken advantage of like that." I said in a monotone voice, knowing what was coming next.

"Me and my key wanted you to know that you've listened to that song 59 times so HA! You love it!" I could practically see her victorious smile.

"Fine, you caught me…that songs addicting. I can't help but rap along." I sighed, it was my guilty pleasure…everyone had to have a little place in their heart for rap.

Alice was laughing on the other end. "I'm glad you finally came out of the rap closet…anyway, is spaghetti okay for dinner?"

"Yeah, it's fine…Thanks Alice."

"No problem, that's what best friends are for. Talk to you later."

"Alright, bye."

"Bye!"

I hung up the phone and rested my head down on my arms. Then I groaned…great now I had that goddamn song stuck in my head. So horrible…but so good.

Six o'clock…finally, I needed to get out of this office.

I turned off my computer and organized my papers into a neat pile on my desk.

I stood up and walked over to the window to close the blinds, but I was entranced by the outside world to close them.

My office had an amazing view of the city—I could see everything. Right now the sun was setting and New York was coated in orange, and all the lights in the other buildings were on.

It looked liked one of those post cards that you would buy after visiting New York—it was like the city was on fire.

That's what I loved about New York. How all the way up here everything below looked peaceful.

I sighed and laid my forehead against the window. Why could everything look so peaceful when I felt like a train wreck?

"Will I ever be fully happy again?" I sobbed. I don't know how much longer I could take this…would I ever move on? What if I didn't want to?

"Why? I miss you so much…" I gasped out.

I hadn't cried like this since a few months after it happened, I thought I was fine, I guess I wasn't.

"Please…please come back…I need you," I could barley see due to the tears pouring out of my eyes. "Please," I whispered one last time.

Then I felt something, a tingling sensation across both my arms, and then it encased me.

I felt like I was having an asthma attack. It felt like him but it couldn't be…I knew this. Why couldn't my mind leave me alone?

But I eventually broke and didn't fight it…I let this feeling that he was here smother me. And for those twenty minutes of staring out the window, I felt whole.

I felt the last tear fall down my cheek, and I knew I had gotten it out, at least for now. I wiped my face, and closed the blinds—shutting out the outside world.

I picked up my bag and walked to the door—I hesitated for a second, my hand on the knob.

Without looking out I whispered the words, "I love you Edward." Then I ripped the door open and let it slam shut behind me.

But I swore I heard the words 'I love you too,' faintly as I left.

**Authors Note:**

So, it's a little longer than the first chapter…and I will try and keep them semi long for you all.

I hop you liked it and please review! It really helps motivate me and when I don't get reviews I wonder if I should even write the story, so if you like it review! And maybe you'll get a present. Lol.


	3. Tearing at the Seams

**Authors Note:**

**Sorry it's not a new chapter I just got a beta so this is the revised version of this chapter. The next chapter should be up later this week.**

**Song for this chapter is Heaven Forbid by The Fray  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything regarding twilight.  
**

**Tearing at the Seams **

Bella POV

I opened the door to my apartment and was immediately greeted by Alice's chipper voice. "Hey Bella! You're home a little late from work, I was going to call but I had a feeling you wouldn't want me too. But actually it worked out perfectly for me because the meatballs took longer to cook than I planned…" Her voice trailed off as I headed to the bedroom.

I called out behind my shoulder, "Thanks Alice. It smells great. I just...I just need to shower really quickly, so if you want to start eating you can."

I had to practically sprint to my bathroom so she wouldn't see my face. I had no clue what I looked like, and I sure as hell didn't want her to worry about me.

I heard her light footsteps reach the bathroom door as she called through, "Are you alright Bella? You don't sound too good."

Damn. Why were my friends so very observant? "I'm fine, Alice. Just a rough day at work, you know, Mike and all."

My excuse came out weak, I could tell, and she must have been able to also. "Is that all? Mike's never made you this upset before?"

I bit my lip and pulled out another half-truth, "I'm also just stressed from work. I've been taking on so many extra pieces that I'm just drained. I think I should start taking it easier."

"If you're sure…" she said hesitantly.

"I am." My words sounded distant as they left my lips.

"Okay. I'm not going to eat without so don't think you have all day in there." She added jokingly.

"Alright, Alice, I'll be as quick as a bunny." I said with a weak chuckle.

"Good. Now go shower."

I hated lying to her. But I couldn't tell her about my dream, could I? I couldn't mention that I thought I was hearing my dead fiancées voice. I couldn't tell her that I was sure he held me as I cried.

If I mentioned it I would be sent away. Put into a room with padded walls and sent to shrinks daily. I would receive looks of pity from those who knew what I was going through. They wouldn't be the looks of sympathy I received after he died. They wouldn't be comforting, at least as comforting as they could be. These would be judging looks of pity. I could see it now, their eyes full of pity that I had finally lost it, pity for knowing that my life was spiraling out of control as I went crazy.

I knew Alice would never call me crazy—she wouldn't judge me if I confided in her. She was too sweet and caring to ever send me away and accuse me of such a thing as being crazy. She was there for me when I needed her most; she was the reason I even survived his death. She was like my sister—and she would have officially been my sister if Edward were still with us.

I just—I just didn't know how I could ever tell her. This would hurt her so much, knowing that I was still struggling after two years. I contemplated all of this as I stared at myself in the mirror. I was glad I didn't let Alice see me because I looked like death. My cheeks were ghostly pale, my eyes were puffy from all the crying I had been doing, and they were bloodshot. If Alice had seen me she definitely would have jumped down my throat and demanded to know what was wrong. I just couldn't deal with that right now.

Right now I just needed to relax.

I stripped out of my clothes and turned on the shower. I shrunk back as the cold water shot out of the nozzle. Once it warmed I immersed myself in it, allowing my mind and body to relax under the warm pressure.

I always felt as if showers cleansed me of all the bad in my day. I felt new and refreshed, like I had a new perspective. Unfortunately this shower didn't help much. My mind was still jumbled with all the stress and confusion of the past day.

Alice was waiting for me, and I had to put on a somewhat serene face. I couldn't let her see the distress hidden inside of me. Hiding my distress from her was unlikely though, I was a horrible actress—I knew this because I'd been told multiple times. I couldn't even get a part in my first grade's class rendition of _Beauty and the Beast_. What makes it worse was the fact that I auditioned to be a tree. I rolled my eyes and sighed—my life.

Before Alice could come barging into my room demanding to know where I was, I threw on a pair of my comfiest sweats and headed to the kitchen. Alice was leaning against the island reading a magazine—the food sitting on each side of her ready to be eaten.

The delicious smell of food wafted into my nose and my mouth immediately started to water. I had forgotten to eat breakfast or lunch today, and I didn't realize how hungry I was until the aroma of spaghetti and meatballs encased me. I took the spot across from her and grabbed my plate—greedily gulfing down the food that warmed my insides.

Alice gave a small laugh and shook her head. "You're welcome, Bella."

"Oops, thanks Alice," I said and gave her a sheepish smile.

We ate in comfortable silence, which I was thankful for. I wasn't ready to talk about this with Alice yet—and I knew she would bring it up. She knew me well enough to let me mentally prepare myself for what was to come.

I got up and brought our plates over to the sink, "I'll wash since you cooked."

"Sounds good."

I turned on the sink and started to clean the dishes, but it was hard to concentrate on such a mundane task when you had someone's questioning eyes boring into your back. I heard her chair squeak against the tiled floor as she stood up. She walked over to me, hopped up onto the counter, and then she let out a long sigh.

"Yes Alice?"

"What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

"Really I—"

"No. I'm not finished yet." I didn't expect her to be this assertive. "I see it in your eyes again. Bella, it's been two years since Edward was killed."

I flinched. That was the first time anyone had said his name in a very long time. It felt foreign.

"Bella, you can't go back to that person you were last year—you were a ghost of yourself. I refuse to let you hide and lock yourself inside your head again. It would hurt everyone if you became that person again."

"The man I loved _died_, Alice! How did you all expect me to react after that, huh? Did you all expect me to grieve for a few weeks and then return to my normal routine as if nothing had happen?"

"He was my BROTHER, Bella! It killed me to!" Her face was livid as she pressed her hand against her chest. "You weren't the only one affected by his death."

I could feel the angry tears threaten to spill. "Don't you dare try and call me selfish," I shrieked at her. "If it had been Jasper how would you have reacted?"

"I wouldn't have shut out everyone in my life! I wouldn't have pushed away the people who loved me most—the people who were also hurting!"

"Don't give me that. If Jasper had died, you would have died too. Know why? Because he is your life—and Edward was my life. Edward is _still _my life."

We were both panting, gasping for breath, covered in tears. Add on the guilt for yelling at Alice when she was just trying to help and you basically had a weep fest.

"I—I'm sorry, Alice." I stuttered, "It's just sometimes it doesn't seem real. The moment I woke up that morning, before I knew he was even gone, something felt different. It was like I woke up in a haze. Nothing seems real to me anymore."

"Oh Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't know that's how you felt. But you're my best friend, and I just can't let you do that to yourself again. I love you too much; we all love you too much."

"I love you too." I chocked out as I ran to her and we hugged each other as tightly as we could.

I pulled away from her first. "So, movie time yet?"

She laughed and wiped away her remaining tears, "You're such a little girl—yes, it's movie time now."

A half hour later we were lying on the couch watching _Step Brothers. _It was such a ridiculous movie but it always made me laugh.

Then she asked the question. "Hey Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"What brought all this on? I mean, you were fine before, and then, then you just looked broken again. Why now?" she whispered the last part. I tensed up. I didn't know if I could tell her. "Bella come on, you can tell me anything. Please."

God I hated it when she begged me. I could never deny her, she meant too much to me.

"I, um, I had a dream about Edward last night."

"You haven't had dreams about him before?"

"No, I have. But this was different—so much different. It felt real, Alice, like he was right there with me."

Alice was silent, so I continued.

"It didn't feel like a dream, it didn't seem like a dream. Alice, I don't even think it was a dream."

Her mouth parted slightly as she stared at me in shock. "Please don't look at me like that Alice. Do you believe in an afterlife? Do you believe that something does happen after you die?"

I searched her face, but there was just concern masking it. "Yes I do believe in an afterlife, but Bella—you're suggesting that he, he came back from the dead. That's not possible."

My eyes fluttered closed and I bit my lip. "I know," I whispered out. "But Alice it wasn't a dream. And then, then I heard him in my office today, it was different but I heard him, I did."

Her face was skeptical. "Alright, Bella. Listen, I think you should get some sleep. I'll make you some hot tea; it's been a long day."

She got up, kissed my forehead, and then headed to the kitchen. I heard the clanking of cups and I settled deeper into the couch—feeling suddenly exhausted.

A week had passed no dreams and no voices. I wish I could say that I was happy, or at least relieved. But I wasn't. I missed him.

Even though it wasn't real, I liked seeing him and hearing his voice. It gave me strength, and sadly hope—even though there was no hope, at least I didn't think there was.

Work was painfully long today. It was only eight o'clock, and I was ready for bed. I had to go to dinner at my brother's house tomorrow, and I knew I had to be well rested for that—it was never a boring day with Emmett.

I changed into my pajamas, climbed into bed, and picked up one of my favorite books _Wuthering Heights_. I must have fallen asleep while reading at one point because the next thing I knew his voice was speaking to me.

"Please, Bella, please, I know you can do this for me…don't give up on us."

I shot up with a gasp. My breathing labored as I tried to comprehend his words. Why would I be giving up on us…when at this moment there was no us? I couldn't make sense of them.

"Were running out of time, please, please Bella."

My head whipped around, searching for him. I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. I couldn't make sense of anything at this point. I heard his voice, clear as glass, like he had whispered them in my ear—yet, he was not here. He was not here like that one night when he held me close.

There was something different about his voice though, from the way I heard it now and the way I heard it that night. Nothing major and no one else except me would probably make anything of the slight distinction. When I heard his voice now it was as if he was right next to me—clear and perfect. But when he was with me the other night—there was a dream like quality to it. Does that mean that last night was exactly that….just a dream? Was Alice right?

If that was a dream what was tonight? It wasn't a dream because I was awake. I heard him twice tonight, but certainly it could not have been real because Edward was de—dead.

I chocked back the sob that threatened to break out.

"What is happening to me?"

"Nothings happening to you, love. Why are you crying?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Twisted Around, But I Don't Mind**

_Edward's POV_

I paced around the white room, ripping my hands through my hair, cursing God and what he had done. This was not how life was supposed to turn out for Bella and I. We were supposed to be married right now—we were supposed to be building our life together.

Then the accident happened, that fucking accident that ended everything. Any prospect of a happy future had been taken away from us in the blink of an eye.

I contemplated the reason for that accident nearly everyday. What could we have possibly done to deserve such a fate? Was it karma?

I went over all the mistakes I had made in my life, and the mistakes Bella had made in hers. However, I always came up empty handed. All of the trivial wrong doings we had done would never add up to a punishment of this extent.

Eventually I was going to have to stop dwelling on the past. It had happened and there was nothing anyone could do to take it back. There was no time turner to return us back to the night it happened. I would never get that second chance to choose staying home instead of going out.

I would also never wake up one morning to find it had all been a dream—a nightmare to be exact.

There was only one thing I accepted about the accident—that it was I who died, and not Bella. If there was one thing I could be thankful for it was the fact that she continued living. The fact that I didn't take her with me that night was fate. Proof, that she must continue living her life.

If I had taken her that night and she didn't survive I don't think I could have continued on living like Bella did. She was always so much stronger than me, though she would never consider herself a strong person.

I bet she would have considered her death inevitable, claiming that she had cheated it too many times and it finally came back and bit her in the ass. She was a danger magnet there was no use in denying something so obvious. But each time she came anywhere close to dying she always escaped, her luck is better than she thinks.

I closed my eyes and groaned. This had to be happening to us for a reason. I was a huge believer in fate—this wasn't the end for us, I wouldn't let this be the end for us. I would find a reason why this was happening—if we weren't meant to be together than I wouldn't be able to communicate with her from the afterlife.

Before that first night of contact I never believed there was a reason for what had happened. However, that night we spent together changed things. Something in the universe shifted, I could feel it.

I was no longer just wandering the world that I no longer belonged to. I was breaking the barrier between the living and the dead.

I needed to figure out what was happening, my poor Bella was probably going crazy right now. I would if I were her I was supposed to be dead for fuck's sake. This wasn't healthy for her—I was trapping her in a relationship that could never be possible unless I found out what was happening.

When I opened my eyes I saw her, standing before me with a calming smile on her face. It was the smile that always put me at ease when I was stressed, worried, or sad.

That smile was calling me home right now, but I didn't know how to answer. I still had no clue how to come and go as I pleased. Maybe tonight would be the night—it had been long enough already and all I wanted to do was hold her in my arms again, even if it was only for the night. I needed her comfort, her warmth, anything she could give me.

I let out a strangled cry, pounding my hands against the walls, screaming at the top of my lungs, "Please, please God, just let me see her!

My eyes closed on their own accord and tears poured from my eyes, leaving a trail of saltiness down cheeks and neck. I leaned my forehead against the wall and continued to cry—it was all I could do. Eventually my knees gave out and I slumped to ground, my fingers groping the wall trying to get out.

It felt like an eternity had passed when I finally opened my eyes again, I wasn't blinded by the bleached whiteness of the room I was previously in. Instead I was greeted by the warm hues of Bella's and my living room. I choked out a breath of relief and once again rested my head against the wall while reverently whispering thanks.

"God, thank you, thank you, oh God…I…thank you," I repeated it like a mantra, afraid that if I stopped I would disappear once again into nothingness.

**Author's Note: **

**I wish I knew what to say. That was very short but it has been sitting in my document folder for a very long time. I'm still trying to decide whether or not to finish this story but I hope you enjoyed that little bit.  
**


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